The journey for her life
by AmeliaBlake
Summary: Sequel to "the journey that changed it all" if you haven't read that then you wont know whats happening. So, Kohaku, Shippo and their companions begin to trace the shards of Rin's soul, will they succeed or will Sesshomaru hinder them? Will she and Kohaku finally come together? Why is Sesshomaru so desperate to have Rin all to himself and how far will either of them go to win her?
1. Where she learned to love

**The Journey for her life**

**Chapter 1**

**Where she learned to love**

Jaken's POV

My Lord has never seemed so intense…he has not feasted or slept in weeks and he has not stepped a toe in his castle since the moment Rin fell into a coma. Even when we were searching for Naraku we'd stopped to rest, then again, that was more for Rin's benefit.

Rin…ridiculous human girl, always causing trouble for Lord Sesshomaru…why he goes through all this trouble for her confounds me! Yet here we were again scouting around the country all for the sake of that girl! I trusted Lord Sesshomaru's judgment and knew he would not lead us astray…but we'd wandered for so long now it almost seemed aimless.

"M-my Lord" I stammered nervously, _he is still so ma__gnificent but very frightening!_ "may I ask where we are heading? Where do we even begin to seek one of the shards of Rin's soul?"

"Hn" he rumbled resounding deep from his throat "fool Jaken, the pieced of Rin's jewel would have fled to the places that meant most to her, the more we collect the more insight we will gain on her life thus we'll know exactly where to look".

Of course! That's brilliant! I wonder if that demon slayer boy figured that out yet…the shaman probably told him, "Lord Sesshomaru where are we going to look first?" I asked him and cowered when he shot me another glare.

"Isn't it obvious…the first place we ever met…when I was injured and she brought me food, the place where I resurrected her" he answered.

_That means we'll be travlling to t__hat village who took her in…I wonder if her shards will eventually lead us to her place of birth._ I looked upon my Lords face, I knew it was place he didn't care to visit again, after all those people beat her, they bruised her…it was also the place she died the first time…

* * *

Kohaku's POV

"This only just occurred to you now?" Shippo asked in disbelief, I frowned at him…he didn't figure it out either.

"Yes…it makes perfect sense…her soul would see the places where the emotions first took root or where she felt them the strongest. Her feelings for me…one of the shards has to be at Kaede's village, the place where we first kissed, I'm sure of it!" I spoke.

I clutched to Kirara's fur as we sored through the clouds_, I hope I'm right about this_! Suzu touched my shoulder to get my attention "Uh Kohaku…won't it be a little awkward when I meet your sister? I presumed you did tell her about me…how are we going to tell her that Shippo and I are now betrothed without making me sounding….fickle…yeah that's the word, fickle".

I couldn't help but chuckle….I honestly had forgotten Suzu and I were ever betrothed….it feels kind of weird actually; we're closer now than when we were engaged! I had grown to love her, she's like the little sister I never had. "Suzu…when you meet Sango you'll see what an understanding person she is…she'll support any decision I make. Plus she didn't want me to marry you anyway"

Suzu pursed her lips and crossed her arms as if she was sulking, "why not? I'm delightful….you did tell her I was delightful didn't you!"

_Oh kami, why did I have to go and put my foot in my mouth_, Norio was holding in his laughter, _great help he is_! "Of course! It's just she sensed what you did…that we were meant for other people" I saved, I thought myself pretty smooth till Shippo spoke up.

"He made you sound like a total nut case" he said, I felt myself tense up, Suzu whacked me about the head.

"Why would you do that? I pranked you no more than five times…maybe six…okay maybe even seven, but they were funny dammit!" she shrilled.

I scoffed, "You shrunk all my clothes…then made me borrow yours! I was dressed like a girl for a whole day!"

Suzu supressed a laughter, Norio and Shippo however didn't hold back "That is hilarious!" Norio roared almost falling off Shippo who was struggling to fly steadily through all his mirth.

Suzu chuckled "If you like that one, then you'll love this…one time while he was bathing I stole his clothes! He had to run through the village naked!" another eruption of laughter came. Though it was embarrassing…part of me wished that Rin could have been with us to hear it…she would have loved laughing at my expense.

"Ah man!" Norio's laughter slowed enough for him to talk, he patted Shippo's head "Shippo my friend…she's definitely a keeper".

* * *

"Kohaku?" whispered my sister as she saw us land in front of her hut, she carried her youngest, Kou, with her. She stared at me as though I weren't really there… "It's uncle Kohaku!" Kou cheered struggling from her arms and running over to me. I picked him up as he requested.

He looked funnily at Norio "Mama!" he called to Sango whilst pointing at Norio's face where his scar was "this man has an ouchy…mama kiss it better!" he demanded.

Norio looked my sister up and down with a content smile "hey if that's what mama wants" he walked forward, smouldering his blue eyes at Sango who couldn't help but blush, though it wasn't from flattery, but embarrassment. "hey…mama…I'm Norio" he introduced, deepening his voice.

He outstretched his hand to her, when another strong hand grabbed his wrist…it was her husband, Miroku, _Norio…you're really in for it now_. With one swift movement Miroku twisted Norio's arm behind his back and had him on his knees, begging to be released "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll never hit on your beautiful wife again! No matter how enticing her body is!" he cried, _Norio…you really aren't doing yourself any favours!_

Sango laid a gentle hand on her husband's shoulder, Miroku released him and let him writh on the ground clutching at his arm. Miroku then returned to his wife's side laying his hand on the lower part of her torso where his baby grew inside. Shippo looked down at Norio and shook his head "what an idiot! Talk about a lousy first impression", he said, his bride hummed in agreement.

"Shippo?"Came a voice of excitement, it was my niece, Yuki, her hands were clasped together in delight.

She was soon joined by Yuka,"Shippo! You returned to us at last!" she rejoiced.

Shippo grew a pained expression, sensing Suzu staring at me quizzically, "Uh…hey there girls" he waved, they both looked at Suzu and scowled.

"Who is she!" they demanded simultaneously, both pointing their finger at her.

Shippo took Suzu by the hand… "Suzu…she is soon to be my wife" he answered in a prideful tone.

While the twins scowled at her my sister and Miroku blinked in confusion… my sister unintentionally frowned "your wife? But I thought-"

"-It's a long story" I put in, "there is a lot we must tell you"

"Well" spoke Miroku, "you and Shippo can come to Inuyasha's hut and explain it all" he turned to his twin girls, "Yuki, Yuka…watch your brothers…all three of them, remember Minoru has picked up a habit of just wandering off".

Before we followed them, Shippo and I hesitated momentarily over Norio, Suzu smiled and waved us off "Go on you two…I'll keep out of trouble" she said, _or get him into it more likely…._

* * *

"You mean….she just won't wake up?" Kagome breathed in disbelief, Shippo and I nodded. All four of the older adults grew solemn expressions.

"I see your logic in this though" said Miroku thoughtfully "it is very likely that a shard would have fallen here, this place did mean a lot to Rin after all".

We all agreed silently, Sango was the next to speak "You've been through a lot…I understand if this is a journey you need to complete on your own…just remember that…we are all here if you need us"

"Yeah" Inuyasha added "gimme any excuse to fight Sesshomaru!"

Kagome rolled her eyes, she shifted her young son Kioshi on her lap and kissed his tiny hand "Inuyasha…I told you, you can't fight your brother…he's Kioshi's uncle after all, he's family!"

Inuyasha derided "Hardly".

While Kagome and Inuyasha bickered and Miroku and Shippo tried their best to calm them, Sango took my arm and guided me outside.

"You kept your promise…you came back" she uttered quietly "I'm glad you took everything I said into consideration…I would love it if you lived here…the family would be complete and Rin is such a sweet girl! The exact kind of girl I would have wanted you to be with".

I hugged my sister, "I leave the moment I find the shard, so that I can find the others…I'll come back again, but when I do, I'll come back with a wife".

She hugged me tighter "I have complete faith in you"…

* * *

Norio's POV

"Are they done yet!" I whined impatiently as I stomped me feet, Suzu had grown tired of my complaining so she suggested a walk…this did not cure my boredom at all. "I wanna leave, Kohaku's family clearly hates me!"

Suzu rolled her eyes at me, "Can you blame them?" she retaliated, "you hit on the monk's wife, the mother of five…almost six kids! Besides it's no picnic for me either! They all pretty much hate me too…the twins wanna kill me because they're practically obsessed with Shippo and his sister thinks ill of me because I broke off the engagement to wed another….even though it was also what Kohaku wanted!"

I smirked, feeling rather mischievous I circled my arms about her shoulder "let's just runaway together dear Suzu!" I suggested dramatically, "leave all the hate behind!"

She shoved me aside, "Is everything a joke to you? All of you done since we left is kid around! Norio…you've told me about your past…and this thing with Rin…how can you be so cheerful?"

I sulked "and I thought you had a sense of humour?"

She folded her arms and scowled, "I do! But I can be serious too! Right now I'm more focused on saving Rin and finding out who I am and why I was abandoned…I thought you were hell bent on revenge! You seem like you don't have a care in the world!"

I grew a serious expression, she saw this and was taken aback…I continued walking on, she followed quietly. "Really wanna know why?" I said strictly as we continued our walk, "why I am the way I am? Because…if you don't smile defiantly in the face of sorrow or laugh mockingly at the grimace of fear…it'll take you over and make you its slave! I won't allow that! Here's the deal little fox…life comes with pain…if we reached the end of it unscathed then we have not truly lived it. I will live only once…I'd like to say that I came over every obstacle with a smile…I will not be defeated" I paused, her face was sad and even guilty…but still engrossed in what I was saying and so I continued. "As for Rin…she's my friend, you guys are the first friends I ever made, when something happens to you, it bothers me! But imagine how she'd feel knowing we were grieving so much over her…you know she'd feel guilty, I'm laughing and joking because she can't and because she'd want me to! I hope you'd all want the same thing for me if by any horrible chance…something should happen to any of you too".

A long silence passed, "I'm sorry" she whispered timidly, "I was being unfair".

I then discarded my seriousness and replaced it with a huge grin, "No worries foxy" I insisted patting her back, "that got way too heated, let's forget it…tell me another prank you pulled on Kohaku!"

She giggled and nodded, _after all it's the least she can do_, "Okay…this one time…while he was sleeping…I poured warm water over his bed so he thought that he had wet himself in the night!"

I burst out laughing, _cla__ssic_!_ This certainly makes up for her harsh judgment!_ However our moment of joy was soon gone when we came across a grave with withered flowers upon it. I kneeled down beside it "this must be Kaede's grave…Rin mentioned her often, the old woman clearly meant a lot to her".

Suzu touched the flowers, "we should lay some fresh flowers upon it…I think Rin would really appreciate that" she suggested.

I raised my eyebrow, "they're not going to give off another hideous odour are they? Or burst into flames…turn into snakes?"

She huffed "of course not! That wouldn't be funny…that would be completely disrespectful!"

I shrugged it off "just making sure…okay lets pick us some posies!" we went to proceed to the nearest field that was full of flowers, when Suzu suddenly tensed up. "What is it little fox? You're making nervous".

She brought her wide, stunned eyes to me "Its Rin" she breathed, she turned back to the graved and slowly approached it "her scent is all over here".

I again shrugged "she obviously spent a lot of time here" I said nonchalantly.

Suzu shook her head "No…it's not like that, the scent she left here would of weakened by now…this is much too potent and it came so suddenly, like she just arrived here" we quickly checked our surroundings, with such hope, unfortunately, Rin was nowhere in sight, Suzu again looked back to the grave…this time with more alarm "It's like she's buried under there! Could it be? Is her shard in the grave of the old priestess?"

_Great…now I've gotta dig up a corpse…why not, I've buried enough of'em._

* * *

"You sure as hell better be right Suzu!" I yelled up at her as I dug through the dirt, why was she buried so deep! "If you're wrong I make you regret it! I will never braid your hair again!" I paused for a moment and looked to her with panic "that is still our secret right…bandit boy braiding hair…they'd never let me live it down, just our little secret right?"

She shrugged sheepishly, "Yeah" she answered in a suspiciously high-pitched voice "Maybe Shippo knows…don't worry I made him swear not to tell the others!"

_Dammit…I'm waist deep in a grave and everyone knows I'm fantastic at braiding hair! I was such a badass bandit before all this! What has my life become?_ The deeper I dug the more Suzu was able to smell Rin and she told me to keep going.

Eventually we came across a sight that was unfortunately not new to me, a skellington…Suzu however was not accustomed to this and squealed girlishly. Although, despite her clear repulsion she jumped down and joined me…there clutched in the bony hands of the late Kaede, was a piece of Rin's soul.

"You pick it up" she whispered, nudging at me arm.

I shook my head "No way…you've seen how fragile that thing is? I'll break it!Besides I'm the one that did all the digging!"

She grunted at me "Fine! I'll do it…big baby" she began grumbling things under her breath she kneeled down. Hesitantly she reached for the shard having come close she soon recoiled with a squeak, "I can't do it!" she cried in disgust, "It's too disgusting!".

I rolled my eyes, "okay fine…we'll do it together, sound reasonable?"

She nodded, joining hands, she reached out and took hold of the shard. Some intense emotion flowed in us…the world around us was cast in mist, we stood...hands still joined and looked round "what's happening?" she whispered to me "I sense no ominous presence…the feeling is actually quite nice…"

I nodded in agreement "I know…it feels like…my grandmother is here with me" the was it, a grandmother's presence…Suzu couldn't figure it out, she never had a grandmother. "use your wind push".

She lifted one hand and instead of a hard push, she swayed her hand as though gently sweeping it away, little by little our view became clear and discovered we were in an entirely different place. We stood in a corn field as the sun began to set causing the field to immerse into a golden haze. There amidst the corn stood an old woman in the attire of a priestess, she was conversing with a young girl. I'd recognise her anywhere….that's Rin as a child… she was cute and innocent…so unaware of what her fate would be.

"Can they see or hear us?" I asked Suzu.

She shook her head as she said "No…we must be inside the shard…this is just a shadow of what has happened".

We stood before them, completely unnoticed by either…watching the scene play out, Rin was sitting on the wooden fence as Kaede picked the corn, she looked no older than ten at the most, "Lady Kaede" Rin began, her voice so little and…childish. "What is love? I've heard of it…what is it and why is everyone so desperate to find it? Where does it live?"

A fond smile touched the old woman's wrinkled face, "It's something that can never truly be defined child…it causes us to act in the most ludicrous ways that are completely out of character, it can turn a cowered into a courageous warrior…a villain into a hero, or sometimes perhaps, the other way around" she paused for a moment, shook her head and continued "anyway, though its definition eludes us…we seek it endlessly, because we often feel lost and love…it gives a purpose, something to fight for, in this world many of us have nothing…when we fall in love…it feels as though we have everything".

Rin smiled warmly "It sounds wonderful" she breathed a blush forming on her cheek, this was when Rin first learned of love, this is when its seed was planted and how she could ever begin to imagine loving another in that way. That is why this moment was so significant, this is why the shard buried itself here, without this moment…Rin might not have considered the idea of love till a lot later and that could easily have changed everything. The scene began to fade and another appeared…it was Sesshomaru laying injured…an even younger Rin standing frightened behind a tree.

"That's the next destination…that place is where we'll find the next shard!" Suzu pointed out and as quickly as the scene emerged it disappeared and we were back where we started, in the grave of Kaede. Suzuz opened her hand to see that the shard rested in her palm, she then noticed that our hands were still clasped and nocholantly released mine from hers, staring intensly at the shard.

"Here it is" she said holding it up "the first vital piece to Rin's soul, the moment she learned of love. We have to find Kohaku and tell him the next destination, my guess is that Sesshomaru already figured that out and is on his way there now! We should hurry while we're ahead, we'll rebury the grave before we leave". With that she rushed on ahead of me, noticing that I had not yet moved she stopped and turned with a concerned face, "you okay there bandit boy?" she asked me.

There was something nagging at me, it was what the old priestess had said…the beautiful way she described love…it only just occurred to me that…she was right, I felt like I had nothing and all I really wanted, well, needed…was someone in life. Everyone I had once loved was taken…I have craved for so long now a love that would feel each of those voids, I just didn't realise it till now. Suzu patiently awaited my reply, I shrugged, can't help to ask. "Suzu…do you think I'll ever find what you have with Shippo? What Kohaku has with Rin? Do you think woman will ever be able to love me?"

A smile very similar to that of the old woman's appeared on Suzu's face "I don't doubt it for even a minute…I truly believe your heart belongs to someone you've to meet…come on, we can talk about this later, we have to find the others now" she then raced off again, this time I followed.

_Someone I've yet to meet huh? Or some I already have…I haven't thought about her in years! The shaman was right…not only had I just learned something about Rin…I discovered something more about myself_.

* * *

Shippo's POV

"Are they still arguing?" Sango sighed as Miroku and I joined her and Kohaku outside, having grown tired of all the yelling.

Miroku joined his wife in a sigh, "yes afraid so, we should get back to the children…this isn't the kind of environment someone in your condition should be in" he said casually placing his arm around her shoulders and guiding her away.

Sango rolled her eyes, "I've carried five children already…I think I know what my body can handle" she shot back. I knew Sango too well, she was over joyed by his consideration and that his hand was on her shoulder and not her butt. I was glad to see that these two had such a happy ending, just like Inuyasha and Kagome did. I hope for the same thing with Suzu.

As though by some coincidence as my thoughts focused on my betrothed she suddenly appeared with Norio at her side. Miroku narrowed his eyes at the former bandit who just smiled innocently in response and waved.

"Kohaku…Shippo!" Suzu breathed heavily, having obviously ran some distance "look what we found in Lady Kaede's grave!" she opened her hand and there rested a shard. We stared at it almost in disbelief.

"How did you find this?" Kohaku demanded, he dared not touch it after what happened the last time.

Norio was the one to explain "we found the grave of priestess Kaede…Suzu could suddenly smell Rin, like she was buried with her. When we dug it up we were overcome with Rin's feelings for the old woman whose bony hands clutched at the shard. We learned how Rin came to know what love was and the destination of where the next one should be…we'll have to hurry".

Kohaku nodded, so fiercely determined. Suddenly the shard bead to glow…it turned from purple to white and shot from Suzu's hand and headed west.

We stared dumbfounded, Norio groaned in aggravation "what the hell just happened now!"

Miroku was the first to figure it out "It must have returned to Rin's body…the more you collect the more consciousness she'll gain".

"Where is the next destination?" Kohaku demanded, "the shard that holds her affection for me isn't here…I don't know why, I was certain it would be…where is it now?"

Norio shrugged and exchanged looks with Suzu "Uh…well we guessed, it's the place she first met Sesshomaru…do you know where that is?" he replied.

Kohaku and I vaguely guessed, she had told us about it before…it would be somewhere in the a forest near the village she had lived in before travelling with Sesshomaru. Without another word Kohaku summoned Kirara, jumped on her back and flew off without even saying goodbye to his sister.

Sango gazed up after him "I havn't seen him so determined since…since his pursuit for Naraku" she turned to us. Looking at me in particular "please help my brother…keep him safe, he can be pretty reckless with his own wellbeing".

I promised her we would then joined Kohaku in the sky with Norio and Suzu.

* * *

Shaman's POV

The shard returned and hit through her chest like a tiny flying dagger, colour began to return to her cheeks and her fingers twitched "Kaede" she whispered, a slight breath past her lips…her eyes still refused to open. The first shard was returned, soon she would fully awaken…


	2. Her affection for the Lord

**Chapter 2**

**Her affection for the Lord **

Sesshomaru's POV

Her scent…it covered the entire area…I felt her presence sweep through every blade of grass. This was where she had stumbled upon me…astounding me with her fearless behaviour and her annoying persistence in caring for me when it was not necessary. It was here she smiled at me for the first time when I asked about the bruises on her face. Jaken inched closer into the glade, drinking in the surroundings; he could most likely smell her too.

"My Lord…she smells so close! I thought we left her back at the castle under the protection of the shaman?" he spoke…how his voice irritated me.

I would not dignify that with an answer, I stood centre of the clearing…I could feel her all around me…this was the place where she began her fondness for me as a child, the day I became her guardian. From the sky there came a twinkle…the shard floated down and found its way home to my palm.

Jaken watched in amazement as the shadows from the past returned and surrounded us. Every moment Rin and I shared was played before us from the moment she and I met. The time she was searching for a cure for Jaken's poison and fell from a cliff, in a flash of flight I caught her. Both times she awoke from death in my arms. It was all played out before us till the last moment I saw her at sixteen. We stood in the forest, a breeze flowing through her midnight tresses…she wore the newest Kimono I gave her, orange and yellow…my favourite colours on her. I watched the scene play on, not particularly caring that Jaken would see it also;

"_Rin…why are you sad?" I asked, I was standing close to my sixteen year old ward, her eyes were down cast and hidden by her long lashes, placing my finger underneath her chin, I lifted her face...forcing her to look upon me. Through her eyes I could practically read her thoughts, I repeated "why?"_

_Her amber eyes glimmered unhappily, "My lord…must I wait another two years for you to return?" she asked woefully._

"_You clearly need more time to grow Rin" I answered, "I can tell you are still uncertain of what you want…you wait for something other than me" I didn't need to ask what she waited for, I already had an inkling what or rather who it was._

_Rin did not deny this, "Can you not just tell me what I want? Can't you tell me what to do and how I should live? Tell me that my place is with you…tell me it's not worth waiting for anything or anyone else…tell me I'm yours and I will obey…I will serve you forever my lord and I will life as you tell me, because you are the one who gave me back a life to live"._

_I burned my gold eyes upon her, connecting with hers that now brimmed with tears, I was still holding her chin. I released her face and began walking away…she was devoted to me, that was certain but till I deemed her an appropriate age she would remain here with humans. "See you in two years" were my last words to her…._

Jaken was speechless, as the memory faded we were shown the next destination…she had by now received her memories of me up till this point and regained her feelings for me and most likely her memories of that priestess who practically raised her in my stead. She would remember every ordeal and the people she had met when with either me or the priestess till her eighteenth birthday. The next resting place of a shard was in her first village, the one she had fled from…the place her family was killed. I looked down at my hand…the shard shot away…the shaman told me this would happen, I was unsurprised.

I began walking towards my next destination, Jaken stood speechless for a moment like a complete fool, till he realised I was moving on without him.

"My lord wait for me!" he cried.

* * *

Shaman's POV

Another shard returned….it was her affection and memories of Sesshomaru and all other involved in the time she spent with him. She was now almost complete. If she were to awake now, the only things she would not be able to recall is her family's death or that boy Kohaku, nor all the friends she had recently made in her recent travels. She would be no more than an eighteen year old woman who eagerly served the dog demon lord almost to the point of obsession.

A small childlike smile touched her face "L-lord Sesshomaru…" she uttered_. Don't wake just yet my dear…that would make things very complicated._

* * *

Kohaku's POV

"We're too late!" I roared my fist meeting the bark of a tree, my friends watched on sadly, I turned to the two fox demons that accompanied me "Are you sure he was here? Are you sure there was a shard".

Suzu shifted uncomfortably and looked at Shippo telepathically asking him to break the news, he nodded "yes…his scent is all over here…as is Rin's…it's like what Suzu smelt at the grave…also"

He didn't need to go on, I knew what he was going to say and instead I said it for him "the emotion it contains lingers…Suzu and Norio could feel her love for Kaede, now…we all feel her… sentiments, for Sesshomaru!" I scraped my fingers angrily down the bark, feeling what she felt for him…the devotion, the longing to be beside him...it made me sick! The only comfort was that it didn't feel romantic. She didn't seem to love him in a romantic sense…then again; her feelings for him were always so much more superior than that, they had an entire category of their own it would seem.

Suzu came to me and laid her hand on my shoulder, "all is not lost" she whispered, "we don't seem to be far behind and we can follow his scent to the next shard…don't give up Kohaku, not when there's still a chance! We've each found one shard…he's not ahead of us yet!"

I spun round and unintentionally glowered at them, I couldn't contain the overwhelming emotion inside me, the rage, the jealousy, the sadness! "Why didn't we find a shard at the place she and I kissed for the first time? The shard that holds all her feelings and memories of me! What if Sesshomaru has already destroyed it so that she can never remember me?"

Norio, who had remained unusually quiet for the most part "well, may be its because she fell for you before the kiss…do you know the exact moment she fell for you? I don't think it was as instant as the time she began caring for her lord".

How the hell was I to know she never told me! I was too overcome with internal torture to answer, I just shook my head in despair. Shippo sighed "guess all we can do is follow Sesshomaru…maybe that's where the shard is...we should get there as soon as we can, I wouldn't put it passed Sesshomaru to destroy it so that she won't remember you…he's still after all these years…ruthless".

It was all we could do now, I had to keep that hope there…it was strange, I had travelled with Sesshomaru in my youth, never did I suspect he and I would rivals. At one point I'd have followed him anywhere also, I trusted him with my life! I joined him in the underworld when we went after Rin…I was given the opportunity to escape but turned it down, because I was loyal to him and knew he would save us. He and I had the same goal…there was no villain in this, there was no one really to destroy…but I was willing to, I would willingly destroy him now if it would mean I could have Rin! I jumped on Kirara who mewed with sympathy; the others barely said a word the entire time.

* * *

The others were tired, their eyes barley stayed open….I also noticed Kirara was beginning to slow. I wanted to keep going, but Rin's voice crept into my head "_let them rest_" her voice echoed in my ear "_you still have fa__r to go and you'll all need your strength, let them rest for the night_". But this would mean Sesshomaru would be far more ahead, there's no way he'd stop to rest! But her voice was so insistent that I lead them down to the forest.

"Sleep" I ordered dryly, "we leave in another two hours".

I stalked off to be alone, Kirara followed.

* * *

Shippo's POV

"He's so moody" Norio whined laying him the grass his hands behind his head, I was leaned against a tree, Suzu was between my legs and resting sleepily between my legs.

"Of course he is" she spoke stifling over a yawn, _she so cute when she's__tired_. "I can't even imagine what he's going through".

There was silence, till Norio of course broke it "so any idea where to look for your hidden past?" he asked Suzu.

"No…not a clue" she answered, "but that isn't the main priority right now…I can wait till all this over and Kohaku has Rin. Maybe I'll even wait till after Shippo and I are married".

I smiled warmly, Norio chuckled "I can't believe I've lost my wingman!" he laughed quietly, I tensed up, please don't say anymore! "Before he met you he was one of the biggest womaniser I've ever met, women were fawning over him like he was some kind of god!"

Dammit Norio! Suzu did not react in the way I expected instead she giggled "It's alright…it's all in the past, besides it's not like I didn't have my own fun".

There is was sparking in me, jealousy, _well played dear Suzu…well played_, married life with her would be interesting to say the least.

An hour crawled by, Norio and Suzu were fast asleep…Norio's snoring was a lot better when he hadn't been drinking. Kohaku hadn't come back and I was getting worried. "Hey, Suzu…Kohaku isn't I'm gonna go find him" I whispered, she half opened her eyes and turned to me slightly.

"Shippo my dear" she said her voice croaky from sleep," I'm going to tell you what I told you a few nights ago…do what you need to do, just don't wake me" she then rolled over and went back to sleep, it was amazing really…It's like I've already been married to her for at least a hundred years.

I did find Kohaku, he was curled up against Kirara who snored peacefully despite the fact her owner was still wide awake, I joined him…he knew I was there but didn't acknowledge me till it suited him.

"What if she chooses him anyway" he finally spoke "let's face it…he has more claim to her than I do, you remember how I almost killed her once…Sesshomaru spared me. It feels wrong going against him like this".

"I know" I said sympathetically, "I felt the same way when I came between yours and Suzu's engagement…it may not be as intense a situation as this…but still it felt weird looking at you as a rival. But if you recall…I was willing to put up a fight anyway. When you know…really know that someone is meant for you and you for them…you have to defeat whatever stands in the way…it's how fate wants it to play out…y'know".

He silently thanked me but I could see his apprehension, so I added "I know we have another hour's sleep…but how about we just head off now?"

It was as the sun rose that we spotted a village up reeked of Sesshomaru but the most potent scent was Rin..this had to be her birth place…hopefully we weren't too late.

* * *

Sesshomaru's POV

It was here…but where…her smell was everywhere, her anger and fear covering the entire village…I could practically see the blood her tragedy left behind. The pathetic villagers cowered…."It's a demon" they whispered amongst themselves, I am was not simply passing through…I was staying put till I found the shard and frankly I would like as little interruptions as possible, so finding it before that fool Kohaku arrived would be much more preferable.

"Bring me your elderly" I ordered…when they hesitated I grew more irritated "line them up and all of you, including them, may live! I have questions they will answer".

Upon my last word the elderly were taken and lined up before me…only five were before me. Though not satisfied I began, "who recalls a young girl by the name of Rin".

It was an old woman whose grey hair almost touched her feet, who spoke first "she was four when I last saw her…I thought she died with her family…after the bandits attacked she was nowhere to found".

This was useless to me, my own anger and the ever increasing presence of Rin's was beginning to clash and rage inside me…when usually I was able to contain my hate and infuriation for these pathetic humans, I was regrettably unable to control this, especially when she continued and said "we thought it a kinder fate for her…considering what the poor girl had witnessed".

My claws wrapped around her scrawny wrinkled neck and lifted her off her feet, the other elders scurried away in fear. All the villagers did…I felt Rin's rage grow…she hated that no one was helping save this woman from me...just like no one helped her or her family as they were being attacked! Images of the occurring night flashed in my mind…A four year old Rin cowering in a dark corner as the blood of her big brother, the last one standing to protect her, spluttered over her.

These people, the elderly especially were to blame…they could have helped! Even now these people watched as I held this old woman by the throat! Not a courageous soul among them!

"Stop! Leave her alone!" yelled a woman's voice, suddenly a vision in pink came before me…she had the nerve to grip at my arm "she told you all she knows! Put Usagi down!" she commanded…this human woman didn't even plead with me!

"Aika!" the old woman, Usagi, chocked to the girl, "run".

Aika, as she was called, made no movement to obey "Let her go…she meant no offence!"

This act of…bravery, I suppose, caused the surrounding presence of Rin's anger to soothe and so mine also began to ebb, I let go and carelessly watched as she fell to the ground and was assisted by Aika. The shard was here…somewhere…and I'd find it, I walked on ahead. I would wait in the woods outside till I found the moment came to act. They watched me disappear, deep down also knowing that I would be back. Perhaps the shard was actually in the forest, I had time to investigate.

* * *

Norio's POV

_This is where Rin was born? Why did it all seem so deserted?_

"Do you all feel that?" Suzu asked, we all nodded.

"Yes" Kohaku answered "her hate and love come together here…this is where her family died"

I continued my observation "where is everyone"

Suzu frowned "they're here…they're cowering in their huts…Sesshomaru must have passed through…do you think he found what he was looking for?"

Just as we were about to plunge into another depression, a voice came…a beautiful voice I had not heard in so long... "not if I could help it"

I turned, _it can__'__t be_… "Aika!"

"Is that you Norio?" she asked tearfully "or is another trick Nori?"

I was so confused "Nori's dead…it's really me". What was she doing here? As I walked towards her…there came another voice.

A little boy, not much older than four at the most came toddling out "mama!" he crooned running to Aika, who swept him up in her arms, he looked over at me with curious eyes "mama whose that?" he asked, he pointed to my scar "why does his face hurt?"

I stared intensly at Aika and she didn't look at her son as she answered him "He's an old friend Shin…don't point it's rude…where is Usagi?"

Usagi? No…at the mention of her name the old woman came out looking for Shin, she saw me and gasped "Norio!"

My heart swelled in my chest, my hand clutched at my chest "grandmother…"

My friends that stood quietly behind me suddenly erupted in one simultaneous exclamation "Grandmother!"

I ignored, my eyes switched from my grandmother, then to Shin and then settled on Aika… "how old is he?" I demanded.

She shifted uncomfortably and snuggled to her son for some comfort "he's a little over three years old".

So…it all adds up, I wanted to break something…more specifically someone, Usagi broke the awkward silence, "if we could just speak to you alone" she said.

I shook my head "no...These are my friends…I'll tell them all anyway, I hide nothing from them".

With that we went into the hut.

* * *

"How long after we left did you discover you were with child?" I asked.

"Two months" she answered.

Another long and awkward silence came "I'm sorry" Shippo spoke up "I'm really confused…how did you all meet? Why are you here?"

Aika had Shin asleep on her lap…I couldn't take my eyes of him…it was startling how similar we looked. With a sigh she began "it was almost four years ago…Norio...his brother and the other bandits came to my village. They took over and killed almost everyone, I was kept alive to serve them _sake _and food" she paused and looked at me, "Norio protected me from a lot of the other men who would have taken advantage, he kept a close eye on me…eventually to secure my safety he declared me his trophy, the other bandits didn't care...there were other women my age still kept alive". She again paused and shot another look at, she hadn't changed, her hair still was still so long and black, her eyes still violet and she still looked so lovely in pink. The others noticed our long intense gape and so she continued her story. "His twin, Nori…seemed kind enough, he wasn't much of fighter like Norio and seemed somewhat shy, but as the months went on…he seemed to change. In the time they spent in my village…I realised, I was falling for Norio…although he terrified me at first…he made me laugh…he gave me joy. We planned to runaway together, we asked Nori to come with us, he agreed. But then on the eve before we left…I was in bed and then suddenly joined by another..."

"Nori" I stated icily, the awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere grew more thick "she coupled with him…I discovered them the next morning when I went to retrieve her"

A small sad gasp resounded from Suzu, "Norio" she whimpered sympathetically.

Aika chided, she held her sleeping son closer to her and looked down at him…at his face, the result of her betrayal to me! Letting a tear fall, she scorned at me "I thought it was you!" she screamed at me loudly, it was a miracle Shin didn't wake up, "I tried to tell you that! Nori told me he was you and I believed him! You were identical! But you didn't give me a chance to explain…you cast me out of my own village and told me to run out of your life before you unleashed the other bandits on me…to use me as I let your brother do…as I also let you! I wandered on for days and found this village…Usagi found me passed out and took me in". she took my grandmother's hand.

"So" Kohaku breathed "Shin…is Nori's son".

Aika nodded, "but he acts…just like Norio…it's strange".

I tried my best to pretend I didn't hear that…so all this time, Nori had taken and tainted another thing of mine! He stole another joy of mine and I had spent years trying to hate the wrong person, blaming her when she was the one who was wronged the most. She didn't look like she hated me…she still looked at me just like the way she used to.

There was still something unanswered, I considered my grandmother "why are you here grandmother?" I asked.

A corner of her lips twitched upwards "you don't remember visiting me here with you parents when you were younger? I've always lived here…I'll never forget the news, they told me my daughter and her husband was dead! I was told you and Nori were nowhere to be found…I assumed the worse" a tear escaped her old eyes, "then…Aika arrived…it was on the anniversary of your supposed deaths…she told me her story and I learned that you were both still alive! Then months later…I was blessed with a beautiful great-grandson" she paused as she looked down at Shin "You say Nori is dead…"

I nodded, Aika was placing Shin under a blanket as she added "was he the one to give you that scar?"

I nodded again silently…Usagi asked what I had dreaded "how did he die"

"I killed him" I answered shame cutting me like a knife.

Aika gasped "you killed your brother?" she whispered.

The person I watched closely was Usagi…she didn't react in the way I had expected "you didn't kill him" she told me quietly "he died…the Nori worth loving died long ago…you rid this world of a monster, created by another monster".

I rushed to my grandmother…she was all I had left of my parents…I had forgotten what village she lived in and after what happened with Nori…I couldn't bear to look for her, so afraid of what she would think of me. Now I realised how unconditional her love was. Over her shoulder I saw Aika looking at me, her finger combing through Shin's hair…I feared it might be too late to repair the damage between us…but that little boy needed me now, he was my blood.

Kohaku faced Aika, "you said you might know what we were looking for".

She bobbed her head "yes, I presumed so…it's another long story but I'll show you, when the demon Lord came, I guessed he was looking for it too, he mentioned a young girl named Rin, when you followed after him I assumed you sought the same thing".

Kohaku's face lightened, "so...we're not too late"

Aika shook her head "no…follow me" with that we followed her out the hut, I took one last long look at Shin.

_You're not alone now buddy, I'm gonna make things right_.


	3. Where is my lord?

**Chapter 3**

**Where is my lord?**

Kohaku's POV

We followed Aika, the closer we drew to wherever she was taking us the more I felt Rin. There grew and ominous presence…a kind of evil, the others felt it too, I knew this by the certain way Shippo looked at me, he didn't seem comfortable having Suzu present (despite how capable she had proven herself to be).

Norio refused to look at Aika despite the obvious magnetic pull. My first impressions of Aika were good. She seemed completely devoted to her son, watching the way she reacted with him reminded me of how my sister reacts with her children, and me when I was a boy. For a moment I pictured the children I may someday have with Rin…they were faceless, when Rin face me…she was faceless too, our future together was so uncertain.

We came to a hut, isolated from the other, Aika stopped outside of it…staring at the wood with a hateful glare. "Aika what's in there?" Norio asked.

She looked at all of us with narrow violet eyes "A common enemy" she answered and allowed us entrance to the hut by sliding back the door. Rage…anger…hate…malice….red raw and deep black…it oozed out, along with Rin's presence . the red and black smokes took form into human like shapes…their blades conjured from the same mist as them swiped at us as though solid. Aika's eyes were wide, clearly this had not happened before. We readied our weapons, Norio instantly threw Aika behind him. They swept past us at incredible speed.

"They're heading for the village!" Aika screamed, before Norio could reach out and stop her she she sprinted towards her village calling her son's name. Screams were heard.

I jumped aboard Kirara and flew on ahead , I caught up with Aika "Take my hand!" I commanded, "I'll take you to Shin!" At that last word she did not hesitate to join me on Kirara, "we looked down to the village that was under attack, the occupiers ran aimlessly seeking safety. "I swear I didn't know this would happen!" she cried.

_I know_! We plunged down, as I jumped off Kirara I asked my fire-neko friend to watch Aika "keep her safe!" I ordered "find her son and Usagi…get all of them out of here!" she obeyed.

These things…they looked like bandits! I fought against them to the best of my ability but it was no use…when they fought me it was like they were solid beings, when I sliced them…it was like cutting air. My friends soon joined me, defending the village at my side.

"What are they?" Shippo yelled, slicing through one of them with his claws (it proved pointless)

"Smoke bandits!" Norio answered, I briefly looked over my shoulder for an explanation before defending myself from another attack. By this time it was just us and them, the other villagers having fled to the sanctuary of their forest. Norio continued "they're manifestations of the most evilest of bandit leaders…only way to kill them" he stopped for a moment to dodge one of their smoke blades before concluding "kill the source".

_The source…it's back at the hut_! I made a started towards the direction it all came from but was blocked by more smoke bandits.

"Who or whatever it is" Shippo began as he thought gratuitously shielding Suzu who was trying to fight on her own. "These guys don't want us anywhere near!"

I felt a small gust of wind and the heat of fire, it was Kirara and upon her back sat Aika with tears streaming down her face. When Norio saw her he gritted his teeth angrily and shouted after her "what the hell are you doing here Aika! Get back where it's safe!"

She leapt defiantly off of Kirara, a smoke bandit attacked, quickly Shippo grabbed her and they jumped away, she pushed frantically away from Shippo. "Shin! I can't find Shin!"

On that word, the young toddler came running out as fast as his little chubby legs could carry him. "Mama! Mama!" he sobbed, he spotted her as she did him. As they made their way to each other, Aika was struck, causing Norio to seethe with anger…I had never seen him so angry. When another smock bandit moved to hit Shin, Norio lunged and rolled him out of the way just in time. Having swept young Shin up in his arms he made his way to Aika who was sitting up with only a few aches and pains. Gently Norio handed Shin to her, she kissed her son's head repeatedly, then looked into Norio's eyes with so much gratitude and…dare I say…love? "Daddy?" said Shin gazing up at Norio whose eyes were wide and stunned as was Aika's.

"I didn't tell him to say that I swear!" she promised, Norio knew that…deep down he felt a bond with the kid, though he wasn't of his own creation…Shin _was_ his son. He ignored the situation however and just protectively carried them to Kirara, ordering her to take them to the forest.

Shin protested with "daddy! Stay!" causing more discomfort for his mother.

All Aika could muster before flying away was "be safe".

The battle raged on, this was proving to be pointless, we could not defeat them in combat and they still blocked the way to the source. One of their blades slashed at my arm.

"Kohaku!" Suzu screamed, she really lost her cool when Shippo was again struck, with an aggressive glare, she raised her arms "_Kami_ knows if this will work but I'm sick of these things!" she boomed her voice echoing "everybody hold tight and take cover!" she called waving her arms and hands artfully causing a miniature hurricane "Shippo! Use you fox fire now!"

"Fox Fire" the green flames erupted as Suzu released her tempest and unleashed upon the smoke bandits that all blew away in Suzu's storm and simmered in the heat of Shippo's flames. We had a moment to breathe, it was eerily quiet.

"They'll be back!" Norio informed us, gasping. "something must have reacted in the source, something that gave it enough power to conjure those things".

Suzu was helping Shippo to his feet, putting his arm around her shoulder and putting all his weight on her "thinks you can make it?" she asked him softly, he weakly nodded.

"Yeah…just need a minute" he responded but then almost lost his balance, Suzu caught him.

I hadn't see Shippo so weak, this battle took a lot out of him, Suzu frowned "no" she said shaking her head, she then looked to me "I'm sorry Kohaku…Shippo can't go on at the moment and I can't leave him…you and Norio have to go on ahead" she brought him down to the ground and rested his head upon her lap.

Norio and I were hesitant, it didn't feel right going without them, I felt my wound and immediately thought of Rin…how she would panic. "No" Shippo uttered feebly "Suzu go with them, I'll be fine" he told her.

She shook her head defiantly "I'm not leaving you here in your weakened state! What if they do come back! Who'll defend you?"

"Go" came Aika's voice as she again appeared upon Kirara "you have to face the source it's the only way you'll be rid of those things and get what you came here for before the dog demon. Let me take you all back, Kirara can watch Shippo".

Norio rolled his eyes "Seriously!" he exasperated "you haven't changed a bit! You're like a yo-yo! Up and down and in and out of danger! You can't just stay hidden! Even though you have no way of protecting yourself you're still always that annoying face in the midst of all the chaos! Where is Shin?"

Aika scowled "You know what you're right!" she yelled back at him "It's a damn annoying trait that I picked up from you! Shin is safe; he's with your grandmother".

Norio groaned in frustration "I've been here almost two hours at the most and already he has wandered out of her sight! Go back to him now!"

"He's fine" she argued back

"Why won't you listen!" he barked.

She paused and sighed "Because Norio…you'll need me there, my hand will be the first you reach for. You're right, I haven't changed all that much….but neither have you!" when he made no replies she walked on "follow me"…we did just that.

* * *

A dark dread still hung upon the hut, when we entered…it was not what I expected…in the centre of the dark damp hut laid an old man…he laid in an almost vegetable like state, staring into the distance like he was in a drug induced haze...drool crept its way from the corner of his mouth. His foul odour filled the entire space, he had not been washed and was left to stew in his own filth. They had boxed him in like an animal.

"You kept him like this? Who is he and why have you done this to him?" I demanded so utterly disgusted by this act.

Aika had no sympathy for him…just a dark hatred, her face perfectly reflected Norio's "Do not pity this man" the former bandit spoke, "he is evil, truly evil! This is no more than what he deserves" he turned his attention to Aika. "How long has he been here?"

She shrugged "about a couple weeks…still hasn't starved to death yet".

_Ruthless! These people were ruthless_! I couldn't believe what Norio was condoning, he didn't even wince! "what did he do to deserve this!" I yelled with outrage.

"Killed my family" Norio answered.

"And mine" Aika added, "and Rin's….many others also".

The deep abhorrence of Rin grew more tempestuous and I realized it centred around this man. It was the love for her family, her grief over losing them and her hate for this man!

* * *

Norio's POV

Aika was right…her hand was the first that I reached for, it was ready for me to take, "this was the man that killed my parents…took me and my brother, turned him and almost me into a monster. He killed Aika's family….he made a slave of her!" I growled, her warm hand gripped mine…a welcome comfort. "I thought I killed him…when I found you guys…do you remember? I swear I killed him!"

Aika's other hand rested on my arm "We found him…a couple weeks ago wounded. I recognised him instantly…so did Usagi, here came here many years before and took everything…he only killed one family that night…a girl named Rin's. After all the pain he caused…an instant death would have been too kind. We left him here to rot, then one day a light came from here…something has been preserving him and prolonging his life. When the dog demon appeared today and mentioned the name Rin, I just knew it had something to do with him".

Kohaku and Suzu were drinking this all in, soon the she-fox spoke "you all feel that don't you? Its centred around him" she pointed to the old man "I can smell Rin…it's like back at the grave….the shard must be _inside_ him".

This could only mean one thing, I drew my dagger "we'll cut it out of him!"

Just as I was about to end this man's life, I was stopped by Kohaku his hand gripping my forearm "Norio no!" he decreed "Look at him! He's helpless! I can't watch this happen, I refuse to believe this is what Rin wants! She was not the kind of person to hate…she would not let you do this, she would show him mercy! My friend please…there has to be another way!"

I wrenched my arm away "he does not deserve mercy!" I snapped aggressively I pointed the tip of my blade at him "if he was strong enough he would not hesitate to kill you and the rest of us! Years I spent with him…I witnessed as he defiled my brothers mind and turned him into a cold blooded killer! I had to kill on his command, it because of him that I killed my brother! Do you have any idea what that's like? How hard it is to live knowing all this!"

"Better than anyone and you know that!" he snarled at me, despite the injury to his arm he was able to hoist me up by my collar "You know everything about my past and what I was forced to do! I close my eyes and I'm there again, in that courtyard on that very night…the way my father's body hit the ground! The look my sister gave me…it still tears me up and makes me sick! I was forced to kill innocent people! I have done as much evil as he has…maybe more. Would you allow my life to end like this? What if someone came for me to avenge their family…would you let this happen to me? I wouldn't let them do this to you…nor would Rin, there has to be another way!"

With reluctance I withdrew, by some instinct I stood by Aika…it was something I could not control, she frowned at Kohaku. "I don't know what happened to you" she began "but whatever it is of Rin that lays inside him, preserving him…I want it gone…I cannot take his life myself…but I won't have it saved. Do you not agree that he deserves this?"

"I cannot be the one to take his life…I am not better than him…neither are you Norio" Kohaku responded quietly, "I can't kill a man who cannot even defend himself; I won't let anyone in my company do so either".

I growled at him and gripped to the helm of my blade "you don't control me Kohaku!" I saw it all, when I looked at him…I remembered how he killed my parents…father tried to defend us, mother shielded Nori and me….her please, her ear-piercing shrills as they pulled her by her hair and then slit her throat! I looked down at his face…his vacant face that once beheld an vicious smile that made my blood boil. He got into Nori's head, turned him against me! My twin was obsessed with this man and lingered on his every word…he'd have killed our own mother on this man's command! My eyes flickered to Aika...he had tied her to a post and made her watch her families death…I remembered the way he grabbed her hair as he had done my mother! I was able to save her…but the teachings of this man's evil caused my brother to betray me...to lay his hands intimately upon the only woman I have ever loved! The more I looked into his face…the more the smirk appeared visible, his wickedness still stirred in that wrinkled shell! _He has to die! He has to die_! "How far are you willing to go Kohaku? How far are you willing to go to save Rin! I thought you'd kill whatever was in your way!"

"I will not become a man Rin cannot love! I will tell you one more time….I will not kill a man who cannot fight back!"

I scoffed at him, his smoke bandits would return anytime soon, it was now or never…he had to die, I lunged down my knife I would cut into this man! But something shielded me…_a barrier_! _Kohaku… only you can do this!_ And he knew it…I offered him the dagger. "do it…or she becomes Lord Sesshomaru's…he will be back and _he _will not hesitate!"

Kohaku took the blade, he could feel Rin…we all could, whether he liked to admit it or not, there was indeed a darker side to Rin, one that craved revenge. Maybe we had it all wrong; maybe it was Kohaku that still had this untainted image of Rin as a little girl and not Sesshomaru. Kohaku raised the blade "I will save her, even if it condemns me to hell!" he cried. As he plummeted the dagger down, he was hindered by a swift moving light. It all happened so fast I barely saw what happened; all I could do was shield Aika from the blood that suddenly sputtered everywhere.

We were again surrounded by mist, all we heard was Rin's scream "Mama! Papa! Brother!" the mist cleared and we witnessed a little Rin huddled in a fetal position…centre of the hut, the bodies of her loved ones strewed carelessly around her, their blood spreading across the wooden boards and inching closer to her. When the image changed we expected to learn the next location of the shard…but it was weird. It was like seeing through Kohaku's eyes, we saw what he saw and that was it. It made no sense. Again the smoke cleared away and standing there over the lifeless body of the old bandit leader, was Sesshomaru, his red covered claws holding the purple shard.

Kohaku scowled "Sesshomaru!"

The Lord nonchalantly stared at him "you hesitated Kohaku, the shard is mine, and you have no knowing of where the last one is…perhaps it was so insignificant that it isn't worth seeking".

This guy knew how to push buttons; he knew that the last piece held all her memories and love for Kohaku! The shard did as it normally did and shot away, returning to its host. Sesshomaru continued "even if you do find that little piece we'll be tied…that's why I will find it and then destroy it".

Suzu gave a gasp of outrage "You'll erase Kohaku from her life! Whether you like it or not he is a vital part of who she was, is and will come to be! If you take that from her she'll no longer be the woman you thought was so worth fighting over! Would you really go that far to keep her all to yourself? Would you really keep her so incomplete? Why would you do that? If you hate humans so much…why do you fight so hard to keep one at your side?" Suzu then realised what the rest of us had a long time ago "you're in love with her!" she breathed "you love Rin too".

He made no response, he zipped away…with no clue where to go next, it appeared we had lost. We discovered Kohaku on his knees…having fallen into despair. This looked like a man that had _again_, lost everything….

* * *

Shaman's POV 

The third shard, her grief…it struck her, tears began to fall like running water…she began to shake, she tossed and turned screaming violently. To my utter shock the girl's eyes shot open, she sat bolt right up screaming loudly. She was crying for her parents, she began to calm…slowing her breath "Another nightmare" she whispered "Why do I always dream about that night!" she then encountered me, "where is my Lord?" she asked "please…I had a nightmare, I need Lord Sesshomaru".

She awoke too soon, all she knows is that she came here on her own accord to live with her Sesshomaru…she wanted no other man, because she now knew no other man. That demon slayer boy was erased and unless he found the shard soon, it was doomed to be permanent. When I did not answer she frowned at me and repeated herself "where is my lord! I need my lord!"….

_Poor boy…poor girl_


	4. Its simple, we kidnap her

**Chapter 4**

**It's simple…we Kidnap her**

Rin's POV

Where was he? I had only just arrived and he'd left! Where did he go and why didn't he take me with him? I was pacing, my attendants had changed, I asked specifically for something in orange and yellow knowing very well that they were the colours Lord Sesshomaru most preferred on me.

I found the Shaman; he said I had been asleep for a long time…I didn't dare ask any more questions. "Please" I pleaded to him can you not locate him? Tell him I have woken? I know he'll come back to me…if he only knew.

The Shaman sighed "Indeed he would my dear…the very instant he knew...but there is still things I must ask".

Hope sparked in me, I clutched at his wrinkled claws "If I answer them…will young bring him to me?"

He shook his head at me as though I was completely hopeless, "very well miss Rin…please take a seat".

I obeyed and awaited the first questions;

"How are you feeling? Emotionally, physically?"

I shrugged my shoulders "I'm happy of course! I've returned to Lord Sesshomaru! I've waited for this for over ten years! Ever since he left me in that village. Physically I'm okay…a little lightheaded but okay".

He hummed and stroked his beard "What do you recall of getting here?".

I thought for a moment "It was my eighteenth birthday…my old friend Shippo came and got me…he said there was someone waiting for me at the hut, it must have been Lord Sesshomaru because next thing I know I woke up here. I saw master Jaken and Ah-Un…and Lord Sesshomaru, I must have fallen asleep on Ah-Un because I'll I remember after that is waking up here…after that horrible nightmare".

I again waited, he scrutinised my face "who is it you wish to spend your life with?"

What kind of question is that? I don't understand why he asked that…I thought it was obvious "Well…Lord Sesshomaru of course….I want to be with him forever!"

Why does he seem so unsatisfied with my answers, he leant forward "is there no one else? No one else from your past?" he asked.

I again thought…_of course_, I knew what he was talking about "Shaman…I will never forget Kaede or Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango and Miroku…I will miss them all! But there is no one else in to world I would rather be with".

He again shook his head, _was I missi__ng something_? A thought seemed to strike him "Sango? You recall the former demon slayer Sango?"

I nodded in response; he continued "she had a brother".

I blinked "she did? Never mentioned him…."

He gave one last heavy sigh "very well…I will locate him"

I squealed with delight and clapped my hands together…I missed him so much! I ran to my attendents, taking one of them joyfully by the hand, I raced her to my chambers "I have to look my best for Lord Sesshomaru! Please…will you put yellow flowers in my hair? I know he'll appreciate it!" she then allowed me to lead her away, I was so excited!

* * *

Shaman's POV

Perhaps it was wrong of me…but first I found the boy…he was sulking in the red light of the setting sun, laying on the grass as though physically defeated as well as emotional. He didn't even see that his wound was tended to. The only sound he made was little whispers "where is it" he murmured "where is that shard…do I really mean so little to her? Rin…Rin…Rin".

Poor boy…this was killing him, it was good that I came to him first. He didn't sense my presence…or perhaps he just didn't care, he seemed so lost to the world, he didn't care about anything or anyone else. When he didn't acknowledge me I nudged him with my foot "Kohaku!" I said as I did so.

"What?" he grumbled…I smelt it on his breath…he had been drinking, "what do you want? Come to gloat?"

I frowned at him "I came to tell you she's awake"

He immediately shot up, he appeared woozy as the drink rushed to his head and he unstably found his way on all fours "is she okay? What does she remember?" he garbled pulling at my robes.

I pulled my robe from his hands, this caused him to lose his balance and fall flat on his face "she doesn't recall a single thing about you and if you don't find that last shard it's likely to stay that way!"

"Where is it?" he sputtered "I can't find it…I was given no clue!"

I took him by the shoulders and made him look me directly in the eyes "Look inside yourself" I told him "the answer lies in you!" with that I vanished, leaving him to pass out drunk.

* * *

"Awake?" he spoke dryly with his back to me.

"Yes" I responded to the dog demon Lord "and she will not stop asking for you…she pleads that you return to her immediately" I didn't need to speak another word for the moment I had finished, he took off into the air.

"Lord Sesshomaru" came the high-pitched shrill of the toad demon, he seemed exhausted and weather worn "I just found him after we got separated, where is he going?"

I sighed "the girls awake…you may return with me".

* * *

Sesshomaru's POV

"My Lord!" she cheered racing to me with astounding grace for a mere human, her hair swayed in one long thick plait decorated with yellow flowers. Her kimono swayed ethereally, her attendants left us alone. I had found her in the gardens, she was picking flowers. She came close to me, but with no threat of touching, her smile shone up at me "Lord Sesshomaru" she breathed her hands clasped together in delight "how good it is to see you…my lord I have missed you!"

I was uncertain still, "Rin…who was the last man you kissed?"

She seemed utterly shocked and stifled a gasp "Lord Sesshomaru! I have never kissed anyone…my lord I swear! What would make you suspect such a thing?"

I was satisfied; she looked over both shoulders and all around the garden then back to me with a gentle smile "Um…my lord, there is no one else in the gardens…will you sit with me for a while?" she took my hand as she sat upon the stone bench, no one had ever had the courage to take my hand before, I joined her. We sat under the sakura tree…speaking closely, she brought a ghost of smile to my face. This was how it was meant to be…Kohaku was just in the way, I would not allow that shard to be discovered, now she was awake…. I could search for it and destroy it! She didn't need to remember him; she needed nothing other than what I could provide for her. Perhaps it was wrong of me…but Kohaku complicated something that was meant to be so simple. It was also my need to protect her, because of this boy her soul was ripped from her! He was meant to bring her to me and that was all! Besides if the last shard was returned to her…then what? We would only be in the same predicament as before. There was no denying this was for her own good. She was the only thing in my long life that was worth having and I refused to lose her to a mere human boy! Gazing at her now…she glowed with bliss.

She sighed contentment "my dear Lord, I finally got my wish!" she said happily, leaning her head on my shoulder. _Why ruin this_? I moved away, she seemed saddened by this "my lord?"

"Rin…I am going travelling for a short while, you are not to leave this castle…understood?"

Her eyes were big and wide like a bush-baby's , "can I not come with you my lord? I cannot bear the thought of not being near you after all this waiting, please my lord!"

"Enough Rin" I instructed, I did not need to raise my voice to her, she composed herself "I will repeat…you are not to leave the castle, understood?"

She nodded her head sadly, "yes my lord I will be here waiting for you to return as I did when I was young".

I then proceeded away, with one final promise that I would not be too long; all I heard as I took off was a familiar melody that I had not heard in years "_In the mountains, in the breeze…In the forest in my dreams. Lord Sesshomaru where are you? Jaken is serving __under you too. I will wait for you, on my own, please return to me…waiting all alone_".

_Everything is as it was and as it should always be_.

* * *

Norio's POV

She was standing alone outside her hut when I found her, staring into the night…Aika always looked so lovely in starlight, it brought back so many memories, the first deep convocation we ever had was under moonlight. It took her awhile to notice me…when she did a pretty blush filled her cheeks.

"Hello" she uttered "where have you been?"

I came and stood beside her "Um…I hope it's okay…but I tucked Shin into bed…he asked for a story".

She smiled fondly, "Of course that's okay! It's really sweet of you to do, so thank you" there was a silence, till she also added "he's taken such a liking to you…it's strange, it was almost instant".

I shifted uncomfortably "yeah….he's a good kid, he looks just like Nori did at that age"

She seemed saddened by this comment "and yet every time I look at him all I see is you".

What could I say to that? It was time we talked… "I'm sorry" I spoke "I'm sorry about everything that's happened to you…I'm sorry about your family, I'm sorry about my brother…I'm sorry about all the tragedy that I brought and left you with"

She smiled and shook her head "It's another thing that's strange…I would give anything to see them all again, but what could I change and yet still keep my son? Through all the tragedy there came some beauty, I met you…and now I have Shin. There was so much sadness, but I remembered what you told me once…to smile defiantly in the face of sadness and laughing mockingly in the face of fear. I've kept those words and I hope to raise Shin by them, Norio…you made me stronger, it's because of you I was able to bring my son into this world and raise him. I learned that I don't have to let everything fall apart…I learned how to hold it all together…everything I learned, I learned from you and I hope to pass it all on to my son. Seeing you again…seeing you again….it just…." Her voice trailed off.

By some instinct I drew her into my arms…she was what was missing, both her and Shin, they were mine! "Marry me" I whispered.

She looked up at me in shock "are you aware of what you just asked me?"

I nodded "are you aware you haven't answered?" with a little squeal she grabbed my face and kissed it. I missed her lips…I missed her touch, I missed every beautiful inch of her…no woman could ever compare! That's it…this was my entire life now…a loving husband and doting father. "So….yes?" I confirmed when she let me up for air.

"Yes, I've been dreaming about this ever since we parted!" she giggled "but we have to do it right now!" she then dragged me away by the hand.

* * *

Kohaku' POV

I woke to a cold splash of water "Rin!" I yelled.

I looked to see it was Shippo and Suzu who were the culprits, they stood over me with an empty bucket "you were dreaming of Rin again" Shippo stated knowingly, "you've done so since the moment she was taken away".

I rushed at them like a madman "She's awake!" I yelled, they stumbled away from me with perplexity "the Shaman…he came to see me! He told me she was awake…if we don't find the last jewel shard she'll forget about us completely!"

Suzu folded her arms "Okay…if that's true and not a part of your dream then did he also tell you where we might find it?"

I thought back, he did tell me but it was too cryptic "he says the answer lies in me".

Suzu and Shippo's eyes turned wide "I knew it! I told you" he whispered to Suzu.

"I know!" she hissed back "but I didn't want to believe it!"

"What? What are you talking about?" I demanded, I hated it when they did this.

Shippo sighed after looking at Suzu and realising she would not be the one to tell me "Suzu and I have sensed this for a while now, Rin's scent is all over you and I think the reason we're all so desperate for you two to be together is because…we are able to feel what she feels for you"

I frowned in confusion, Suzu finally stepped forward "Kohaku…I think you've had the shard with you all along…it think it's in your heart…it would explain all those dreams for one thing".

I couldn't believe it! History has once again repeated itself…once again my life depended on a tiny shard!

"we think that if the shard doesn't return to Rin…it will merge with your soul and just become a part of you…you may be stuck dreaming about a girl you can never have for the rest of your life" Suzu continued.

I concluded concluded my thoughts, "so we need Rin, we at least need to see her….how?"

"Simple" Shippo shrugged "we kidnap her".

_Oh yeah_!

* * *

As the sun rose we made a start, we were shocked to discover that Norio had married! He was bidding goodbye to his wife, he hugged her closely "be careful" she whispered "and return to us".

His lips met her forehead "I will I promise" he then turned to young Shin, resting on his mother's hip, "you listen to your mother and grandmother okay son, I'll be back soon" he told him, ruffling his hair, Shin giggled and agreed to obey.

Aika waved us off, Norio rode on Shippo's back "so" the fox demon began "you have a family now…how's that feel?"

Norio grinned "Amazing!" he responded happily "I'm a husband and a father in the space of a day! I'm such a man! Even though you've been engaged longer, I beat you to the alter Shippo and had a kid before you! I win _everything_!"

Shippo frowned "I _will _throw you off!"

Norio clung to Shippo in mock fear "Oh no please! Please I have a family!"

_He just loves saying that_! His pride reminded me of my brother-in-law's and Inuyasha the day they were married and had children. I yearned for that happiness too.

We soared higher so not to be seen, "so what's the plan?"Suzu called over the wind_. I had one….and it__ would require only one__ of us__. _"Hey Shippo!" I yelled, I got his attention "how are you're transformations?"

Jaken's POV

"Why do I have to get stuck with her again? He always runs off and leaves me!" I huffed as I paced outside the gates where he had left me. "I promised to follow him everywhere! He doesn't appreciate me!" as I spoke to myself, waving my arms…I lost balance and stumbled into something. I looked up and to my horror stood Lord Sesshomaru, I grovelled at his feet "Oh my Lord! You came back for me!" I wept with happiness, he kicked me aside.

He stood before the gates and narrowed his eyes at the guards, they trembled and automatically opened them for him, he walked in with such authority, I scampered close behind "make way!" A guard yelled "The lord has returned!"

As walked his servants and the other dog demons of the court parted like the red sea, "lord Sesshomaru…did you forget something?" I asked.

He again kicked me away "my ward" was all he said…_is it me or does his voice sound strange_? He made his way into his kingdom and headed for Rin's chambers.

* * *

Rin's POV 

The doors of my Chamber slid open and there he stood…looking as dashing as ever "My Lord!" I hailed leaping from my seat (I was previously pulling the flowers from my hair) I ran to him, resisting the urge to embrace him. "Lord Sesshomaru…have you come back for me? Are you here to take me with you"

He nodded and as he did my heart lurched with excitement, wandering the country side with him…how wonderful! I felt all aglow when he offered me his hand and guided me away…guiding me away to our next adventure! _I will follow you to the ends of the earth my sweet Lord_! _But why will you not speak?_

Eyes were upon us as we made our way to the gate…_why does he not carry us away_? Jaken's face was certainly amusing, "you bring her but leave me!" he shrieked.

"Please don't be sad Jaken" I called softly to my old friend "We'll see you again".

As we reached the threshold, my lord suddenly tensed, his hand gripped mine as he shook…the look on his face, looked like he had to vomit! "Lord Sesshomaru! What is it?" I asked in alarm, the guards were looking! They all gasped at the sight.

"Oh no!" he squealed in a voice I had never heard him use before "why me? Why now?" suddenly a long bushy tail sprung from his tail bone, he shortened in height and his hair turned auburn!

"Shippo?" I shrilled, we were surrounded by guards "Shippo what are you doing?"

"Stop him!" Jaken screamed "that fox demon is trying to steal Rin! Lord Sesshomaru will kill me if that happens!"

The soldiers charged "No wait" I pleaded as they drew nearer "He's my friend, he won't hurt me!"

"_Transform_!" Shippo yelled turning into his "hawk" "Sorry Rin…we're in a rush!" he clasped me in his hawk claws and carried me away.

"Shippo!" I screamed at him…"Shippo put me down!" He wouldn't listen.

* * *

Kohaku's POV

"Where are they!" Suzu fretted, I too was worried but I kept it to myself. She continued to pace back and forth.

"Cool it foxy" said Norio picking at his teeth "have more faith in your man…he won't fail us"

She didn't stop worrying "I knew we should have gone with him!"

She was making me feel worse! What if they didn't make it back? What if he got hurt…what if she got hurt along the way?

But to my joy they emerged from the clouds, Rin kicking and screaming in Shippo's claws. When set her down I moved to embrace her, Norio stopped me "easy brother" he whispered to me "she doesn't remember you…you're a stranger, don't scare her".

He was right, I resisted….her eyes set upon me, harsh and angry "who are you?" she growled at me. That cut me deep…deep like an icy knife. She truly had forgotten me…me and everything we had!

She shot back to Shippo and pushed "what have you done!" she cried pushing him again "why did you take me away? I was happy!" She paused, looking at me…then Suzu…then Norio and then finally back at Shippo "who are they? What do they want with me? I thought you were my friend".

I reached out to her "Rin…it's okay, we're your friends" as my hand almost touched her shoulder she slapped it away.

"Don't touch me!" she barked at me, I hated the way she looked at me…no trust…no love, I was a complete stranger. "Whatever your plan is…whatever you intend to do with me, you'll soon regret it! Just you wait…Lord Sesshomaru _will _come for me!"

I have no doubt of that spoke a painful voice inside my head.

Shippo took hold of her "Rin…you trust me right?"

Her brows knitted together, "I'm not sure anymore" she answered honestly.

He sighed "please Rin…you can trust me…you can trust all of us, because we care about you and have gone through a lot to see you again…please…let us explain".

Thought hesitant…she nodded her head in agreement.

_Where to begin?_


	5. Is he lying?

**Chapter 5**

**Is he Lying?**

Rin's POV

"No!" I screamed fleeing from them, it can't be true! It couldn't be…Sesshomaru would not keep that from me! He wouldn't trap me like that. The fox demon was fast and hindered me.

"Rin please! You have to believe us! We went through a lot for you" he pleaded, I pulled away…I would _not _believe it!

"Stop it! Lord Sesshomaru wouldn't do that to me, he wouldn't keep something like a secrete" I spat back, I looked accusingly at the boy I was supposedly in love with, "And you! If I was so in love with you then why can't I remember…part of my soul is inside you? That is creepy and…just so…Ah!" kami what was wrong with me? I looked into his eyes and…something inside me stirred, the very feeling alone almost had me believing them.

Norio, as they called him came forward "Hey Rinny…it's not his fault, from what I hear shards seem drawn to him like magnets…last thing he wants is another one of these things inside him! Lay off will yah!"

I was taken aback, he was talking to me as though he had known me along time as though we were close enough to bicker "I'm sorry Rinny?" I scoffed, I didn't know him! Yet strangely I felt a connection there…one similar to the one I had with my brother ad Shippo.

"Yeah" he talked back "Rinny…that's what I call you sometimes" he pointed to Suzu "She's foxy or little fox" he pointed to Shippo "there stands big fox…you know him already" he pointed to himself "Call me bandit boy" finally he laid his hand on Kohaku's shoulder "and here meet the fun slayer! Rin we were all close…almost like a family, not only is this hurting Kohaku…but it's hurtig the rest of us! We went through a lot together and we learned a lot, we shared our pasts and all the darkest aspects of our lives. Try and remember Rinny…"

I stepped away from them…I looked at their faces…there was something there, something about them…a pull and initial bond. Why did I feel like I could trust them? They kidnaped me! But it would explain the blackouts, I sighed and turned to Kohaku. This was confusing, my lord was dashing…he was beautiful beyond belief…but when I looked at him, this Kohaku, I melted…my knees buckled. "This shard…how do we get it out without hurting you?" I asked "If what you have told me is true…I would like to remember it all…I want back some of my life".

He looked sad "I'm not sure" he confessed.

I sighed "Well…I have been spending these last few nights in a castle with servants…after that experience I'm not quite ready to go back to sleeping on the grass"

Kohaku smiled at me warmly…again my knees buckled, _get a grip Rin_!

The former bandit spoke up "We could stay with my wife and grandmother" he suggested.

Kohaku tensed, "I don't think that's a good place to take Rin" he said meaningfully "you know what happened there!"

Norio rolled his eyes "exactly that'll be the last place he'll look!"

Shippo scoffed, "you've been away from your wife for less than a day, surly you knew what this mission entailed!"

Norio frowned "easy for you to say! You get to take Suzu with you!" they continued bickering, Suzu tried to calm them.

Kohaku was staring at me again, I could feel his eyes upon me…there was a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach…guilt. Why would Sesshomaru keep this from me? This was not like him…I've always known he'd do whatever it took to win, I knew he could be ruthless…but didn't he realise that destroying that shard was actually destroying part of _me_? Was my lord so focused on _winning_ me that he would actually take such a vital piece away? Why was I falling for this? An hour ago I would have told them all that they were vicious liars…but there was something about them that I trusted! I wish I could remember…better yet, I wish they would have left me alone! Let me forget them…it was easier that way; everything I thought I knew was coming undone.

* * *

"So you must be Rin…I'm Aika" she introduced taking me kindly by the hand, so this was Norio's wife…she seemed nice. I was a little uneasy, she noticed and smiled kindly "it's okay we've never met…I'm not another forgotten face I promise".

I sighed with relief "I'm glad...I can't handle anymore forgotten faces"

She nodded "I understand" she then noticed my edginess grow as I huddled away from my surroundings…I looked like I was going to burst into tears at any moment, "you haven't be here in a while have you?"

I shook my head "I don't want to be here now…I see their faces everywhere, I see my mother gossiping with the other wives by that well over there" I pointed to it, then looked to the small tavern "I see my father laughing with his friends over there…and just in those hills stands my brother…daydreaming about kami knows what! But they're not here…I shouldn't be here!" I began crying. Everyone else was inside the hut…Norio was playing with Shin, making funny faces, Aika had taken me outside for air, I was now glad she did.

Suzu heard must have heard my cries, she came outside with a worried expression "Rin…are you okay?" she asked, I shook my head, next thing I knew they had both enveloped me in their holds, it was like being surrounded by Sango and Kagome…it was comforting.

"You know what we need" Said Aika with a smirk "a good long soak in the hot springs, clear our minds a little".

Suzu agreed, she hummed with delight at the thought of the warm waters, "you go on ahead, I'll tell the guys where we're going".

* * *

"That feels wonderful!" Suzu sighed tucking her hair behind her pointy ear, the water was so warm and soothing.

"Yeah" Aika agreed "I always come here when I have a lot on my mind…are you feeling any better Rin?"

I had been dismally quiet this entire time, why did they have to come get me? I was so happy with Lord Sesshomaru…all the complication was gone. I know they meant well…but now I was miserable. I forced a smile on my face for Aika "I'm really confused, there something…that draw me to this group".

Suzu smiled knowingly, "Of course there is…its Kohaku" she answered simply, I raised my eyebrow at her and she continued to explain "the part of you that rests in him is not only all you love and memories of him, but also your memories of us, everything you feel is coming from the shard inside him…part of you is in someone else and it seems to react every time you're near".

She may be right…it would explain so much! No…Sesshomaru….Kohaku...I was so happy back at the castle, then again maybe I was happier with these people…who knows, I certainly don't I was getting more and agitated, these people kidnapped me and yet I trusted them so much that I had begun to doubt Sesshomaru! I never doubted him and it was making me angry! But they hadn't really imprisoned me, I could easily escape them…why hadn't I? Too many thoughts spun in my…the spring did not help after all, I grabbed a long cloth and wrapped it around my body.

"Where are you going?" Aika called after me, her voice soft and dreamy she was still so relaxed.

"I need to be alone" I mumbled back as I gathered up my clothes.

As I walked away I heard Aika ask "Should we go after her?" to which Suzu replied with "no let her lick her wounds in private".

_Lick my wounds? What am I a damn cat_? There was somewhere I had to go…somewhere I hadn't been in so long…

* * *

Kohaku's POV

Every vacant gaze, every unfamiliar wince as I approached…killed me a little inside. All she spoke of was Sesshomaru…since discovering that she and I were almost a couple, that the last time we were together I had proposed, she kept herself at a distance. I could see her frustration; she was desperately trying to remember me and all of us and hated that she couldn't

I was sitting with Norio and Shippo, they were wolfing down the meal Aika had prepared "See!" Norio grinned as he swallowed down his second helpings "told you my woman can cook! Beat you again Shippo…Suzu can't even boil water right!" he laughed, he turned to his son.

"Yay daddy wins!" cheered the little boy, clapping his hands.

Norio ruffled his hair "that's right buddy" he said smiling with fatherly pride "daddy won the best rewards in the world! You and mommy…now compared to me everyone else is a complete loser" he grabbed his son playfully and the two made a shape of an "L" on their forehead with their thumb and index fingers, "Losers!" they hooted and laughed, Shin was thrown up by his armpits and then safely caught by his father.

"I don't feel right leaving Rin out there alone right now" I murmured quietly, picking at my food, I had barely eaten anything.

"Relax" Shippo responded with a placid shrug, "She's with Suzu and Aika, they won't let anything happen to her".

It was then that the two women walked in, looking refreshed and radiant from the hot springs. Aika beamed when she saw her husband and child playing together, a perfect family picture. "I thought I told you to put him to bed" she said raising an eyebrow, she kissed them both on the cheeks.

Norio bounced Shin up and down, "hear that? Mama says it's time to sleep, so what do we say?" he cooed.

Shin's almost toothless smile lit the room "night mama…night everyone" he said waving goodbye as his parents carried him away. They had what I wanted…what I had sought but could never seem to obtain.

"Where's Rin?" I asked Suzu shortly as she rested next to Shippo.

"She wanted to be alone" she answered, _were they really that stupid_!

"You left her alone!" I yelled jumping to my feet "Idiots!" with that I ran out of the hut, the others stared after me, Kirara followed.

* * *

Kirara found Rin first, she sat outside an abandoned hut, it was dark and run down. Her head was hung …she was clearly in despair, the only movement she made was when Kirara sat by her, she stroked her behind the ears then continued to stare endlessly into some black abyss.

Though hesitant…I cautiously approached her "Rin?" I crooned gently, "may I sit with you?" I asked.

She seemed uncertain at first, she eventually nodded and allowed it. I made sure I did not sit too close, I didn't want to frighten her. "This is where it happened" she said suddenly, her face beheld such gloom, I watched her from the corner of my eye, she enfolded her arms around her legs and leaned her chin against her kneecaps. "This is where they died!" she began to sob.

I wanted to reach out and hold her, but I knew she would not approve, "I assume I told you?" she said wiping her face, "if we really were as close as you said…then I would have told you! So tell me who died here! What happened exactly, I haven't even told Shippo this! The only one I've told is Sesshomaru " she ordered aggressively.

I didn't want to answer, but she was looking at me furiously…I had to "You're family Rin, your mother…brother…father" I answered, "first it was your father, then your mother…your brother was the last one standing, they beat you…thought they left you dead…you didn't though…you woke up, you cried over their bodies. You walked because you didn't know what else to do, you walked and kept going…until someone found you, half dead. You didn't speak after that…until-"

"-until I found Sesshomaru!" she breathed, cold tears down her cheek…. "he brought my voice back…and my life…he was everything I had lost all in one" she paused and looked at me, realising that she was hurting me with every syllable and winced with guilt. She took my hand…I near gasped from shock "don't you see Kohaku…don't you see that I owe him my life? My life is Sesshomaru's…I need him, please take me back" she pleaded softly.

How could anyone deny her anything? But it was like she had kicked me in the gut! I grabbed her by the shoulders more roughly than I intended to and looked dead in the "Rin! I can't! You need to remember me…I need you to remember how much we loved each other! Rin the night I confessed my love for you it was because you made me_! Be brave you_ told me _be and say it_! I should never have agreed to taking you to him in the first place! I should have married you the instant I saw you again!" I cried all this with great passion. Her expression beheld panic and apprehension…she became tremulous with anticipation as I leaned in "remember me Rin…" I whispered, leaning closer cocking my head left, my hand cupping her right cheek which was warm and red "remember me" my lips lightly brushed her as though a simple test, when she allowed me that light touch…I kissed her again tenderly…the kiss grew deeper.

She was kissing me back! The shard in my heart…I could feel it pulsing! It was reacting to the kiss...more strongly because in Rin's mind, this was her first kiss, she didn't remember her actual one. Even I could not be her last…it was destined that I was at least to be her first romantic love and that was honour enough for me! I released her…her eyes were closed and she seemed dazed. "We've done this before haven't we" she whispered in disbelief, "I can feel it….I have kissed you before" she laid her hand on my heart where part of soul still resided "it's speaking to me!" she then put her hand her own heart "mine calls to it!" She let free more tears, "I'm so confused! It's like I've never seen your face, at least I don't recall it…yet I feel like I know you better than anyone" she wept and clung to me.

I hugged her closely "you do Rin! You know me better than anyone…better than I know myself! You know me as well as I know you…are you starting to remember?"

She shook her head "No" she sobbed after a moment she pushed me away, "why did you do this!" she yelled.

"Do what?" I yelled back, we were now standing to our feet, "what have I done now?"

She scowled at me "You've turned my world completely upside down! You've changed everything! Everything! I don't know what to do! I…." her voice trailed off, my blood was boiling!

"That's it I've had it with you!" I yelled at her, pointing my finger in her face "I've followed you everywhere! I followed you into the underworld; I've followed you North, East, South and West! After all that I've done…after all we've been through….your just so! So! AH! You make me wanna rip my hair out! I'm getting so sick of you!"

She simpered at me, storming close "Oh if I'm so bothersome then why did you kidnap me? Why keep me around? Just take me back!"

I groaned with utter annoyance and gripped at me hair "because! I can't imagine life without you! Despite the fact that you're so difficult you're still so incredibly easy to love! You annoying, whiny little brat!"

"Shut up you pushy, overbearing control freak!_ Kami_ I hate you so much right now!" she pushed me, I stood closer…feeling the heat.

"Yeah well right now I hate you too!" I shot back before grabbing her face and crushing my lips passionately upon her, for a moment her arms were around me.

Our lips were again locked in a warm embrace till she roughly shoved me away, "stop it!" she yelled, her anger again turned to sadness, "this is insane…I've just met you!"

"No you haven't! You've known me most of your life!" I tried to take her back in my arms but she again pulled away "go away, please..." she practically begged.

I had to make one last attempt…at least apologise, I almost touched her shoulder when a voice spoke that gave me chills "you heard her" it growled "move away boy!" the voice echoed from the abandoned hut that still reeked of the blood that dried there. From the darkness of the threshold he emerged with ethereal grace!

Rin gasped and recoiled even further away from me "Sesshomaru!" she inhaled , "my lord…you found me".

My kiss was barely dry from her lips…he saw us and I was glad of it! He did not dare to touch her lips…his pride got in the way. The great Lord Sesshomaru envied _me_! Four long agonising moments passed and he said nothing, just stared at me…with eyes of a killer.

Rin came between us, she faced him… "my Lord" she breathed, "tell me the truth…is everything Kohaku has told me the truth? Tell me he's lying and I'll believe you? Is he lying?"

With one last glare at me he answered her…an answer I did not expect…. "No"….


	6. Time for my new life to begin

**Chapter 6**

**Time for my new life to begin**

Sesshomaru's POV

That look she gave me….she had never looked at me that way before …. It was a look of betrayal, a bitter disappointment that filled the eyes of the women who once idolised me. Whatever emotion I felt in reaction to this I kept sealed away behind a deadpan face. I was a glacier, cold and hard and hid so much more beneath the surface.

"My lord…why would you keep me so in the dark? It can't be that you're afraid….my lord fears nothing" she uttered sadly.

_Nothing…save losing you_….I did not respond and so she continued "Lord Sesshomaru….please speak…have I angered you so much? Have I done something wrong?"

I saw it all again played before my eyes…his hands, his eyes, his lips all passionately upon what was mine. Though most of my anger was directed to slayer, part of me raged at her…why did she think I kept her so pure and innocent? Why did she not see the reasons I had for keeping her unwed! Then again this night…just like she did four years ago…she had tainted her lips with the same person! Still I refused to play fates game! Fate is a fickle being…switching sides, it was once on my side…we were just its toys….but no one toys with this Sesshomaru!

"My Lord!" Rin pleaded clutching to me, "why are you so desperate to keep this man and me apart? Even going so far as to destroy a part of my soul? Can't you see that it's not your sacrifice to make? Why Sesshomaru…why are you so desperate to keep me…I'm a mere human to you…aren't I?"

"No" Kohaku answered in my stead, I glowered at him, how dare he! "you're not a mere human to him Rin…he's in love with you, he loves you…selfishly".

Rin's eyes were wide, I rushed at him and held him by the throat…his feet were off the floor. "Isn't this familiar….why it's just like the night you and Rin first met when you were a young boy…the night you almost killed her" I spoke, he glared at me as I choked him "Is that something you want her to remember?"

Rin was pleading to me "My lord please don't hurt him! Please!"

Kohaku was struggling to breathe as he responded with "s-she already loved me…once…in spite of it…"

Rin's words resounded in my head, _can't you see it's not your sacrifice to make….why are you so desperate to keep me….it can'__t be that you're afraid_. My eyes turned red, electricity formed around me.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin screamed "Don't kill him please!"

There was only one thing to do…I knew it now, the only right thing to do…for all of us. I squeezed his neck tighter the place on his chest where Rin's shard rested began to glow. It shot from him like dart and caught in my hands…I released him…he dropped to the floor gasping.

The shard in my hand…Rin and Kohaku stared with anticipation…now could be my chance to destroy it…she would forget that boy forever. "Rin…come forward" I ordered, she obeyed as she always had…without hesitation. I turned and faced her…she was still so small…her shimmering eyes gazed up at me "hold out your hand" I instructed, she did so and I placed in on her paln…with my claws I gently closed her hand. She breathed my name, it was time to explain…time for her to know everything I kept away inside. "This Shard is different" I began "you have a choice with this one….unlike the piece that beheld me…you see Rin you have no choice but to love me…as I have I choice but to love you…we are too important to one and other. Whether you accept this piece or not I will forever be a part of you…that is something that can never change. This is the path you would have taken if your family was not killed…you would have never met me, you would have married this human man…this is what this piece also represents, it's a path untaken…opening up to you now". I stopped, she had something to say.

"You mean…if my family had not been killed…I would still have somehow met Kohaku…we would have married and I'd have no idea who you are?" she spoke.

I nodded "yes…but the ordeal with Naraku brought us all together…your destinies mingled, causing you great conflict, that is why you cannot choose Rin…you were meant for both of us…now two paths are laid out neatly before you. Here's mine…I will _not_ give you children, I will _not_ be the father of half-breeds, I _cannot_ wed a human, I cannot share the throne with you and I _will _live on long after you are dead, having barely aged myself. But….you will still be happy, you will be loved and you will be cherished…I will show it in my own ways. Kohaku…your life with him will be simple…you'll need to work hard just to get one bowel of rice on the table on some days. But you will have many children who will adore you, you will marry and die on the same day as he…choose".

She looked down at the shard, "I can't" she breathed shaking her head, she handed the shard to me "If you can see all this…you choose for me, guide me now as you have always done…down the path that is best for me. Please Sesshomaru…I can't!" she squeezed her eyes shut.

_Very well…so be it_. I squeezed the shard tightly in my hand, this was the moment…this was what it came to…I was always meant to determine our fates. I pressed the shard against her heart… it glowed a radiant white light…the shard had joined her, her soul was now complete. She fell back, I swiftly caught her in my arms, as I had done the day first died. She awoke gently, Kohaku and I watched with anticipation. She smiled up at me gently "Lord Sesshamoru" she whispered, I touched her face then brought her into my embrace. Her second death…I told myself that I should hae left her in a village, should have let her lie a normal life. I've always known this was the right thing. She held me back…her hold was warm, my insides were melting.

I felt Kohaku's eyes burning with a jealous malice "Kohaku" I called without even looking at him or releasing Rin, "you now have my blessing…come forward…your bride needs you".

He did not hesitate, he practically snatched her from me…into his own arms… "I remember" she said holding him back "I remember everything! Shippo and Suzu…I can't belie Norio has a family now! I need to see them…please take me to them...wait…Lord Sesshomaru"

But by the time she turned to face me, I was gone, looking down unseen from another height, she ran out a little into the place I had kneeled and touched each blade of grass that I had crushed, she hung her head… "Lord Sesshomaru".

Her betrothed moved forward, brought her gently to her feet and guided her towards her companions. I stared after her…the first, the only, the last human who would ever hold sway over I, Sesshomaru. She had captured me with her warmth…her kindness, her courage and was why I had to let her go she was not meant to be caged and kept from her own kind, she was a gift among them to be cherished…and they had better do so.

I could take comfort in one thing for sure…that I would not be forgotten, that she would keep me in her memory, safely locked away. Rin too gained immortality…for in a thousand more years to come, I would remember the colour of her eyes, each shade and hue they beheld, when no one else in the world could even recall her name….

Kohaku…though at a great distance must have sensed that I was near, he looked into my direction…his eyes spoke the words he dared not say aloud "_thank you…Lord Sesshomaru_" .

* * *

Rin's POV

"_My lord of love, my lord of light…I'll dream of you when moon shines bright…hear your voice inside my head, feel your hand in times of dread…but our time has come, goodbyes been said.__.__.but I'll dream of you…my long lost friend_" I sung to the night air…hoping he would hear it, wherever he was now.

I would never forget my Lord….yes I would live happily with Kohaku…I'd glad to bear his children and share my life with him. In honour of Sesshomru…I would name our first born son after him.

I doubt that our paths would ever cross again…but in future when Kohaku and I took our last breathes together…I will spare one last thought for him and die with a smile on my face, letting my light go out. He will always be a part of me…because we share a bond that goes deeper than friendship or love…he made me the person I am today. He gave me a life worth living…worth saving.

As the night breeze caressed me, I closed my eyes…I could smell him upon it and feel his warmth, "thank you" I breathed.

"Rin?" came a voice behind me, I did need to look, Kohaku came from behind me and wrapped his arms around me…I leaned into him. "I'm going to make you so happy…for you, for me and for _him_"

I had no doubt of it… I did love Kohaku and I loved the friends we made. We were soon joined by them.

"So this is where we part?" Norio muttered sadly, his arm around his wife. Shippo and Suzu stood hand in hand.

I shook my head "We'll meet again…you can count on that" I responded.

A warm moment passed…"I'm hungry" Shippo whined.

We all groaned and then shook our heads laughing "Always have to kill a moment!" Kohaku chuckled nudging his friend.

"I can cook you all something!" Suzu chimed in brightly.

"No!" we all alarmed in unison, she sulked.

Time for my new life to begin….

* * *

**Prologue**

_Everything the dog demon had foreseen came to pass…many years drifted by in bliss. Norio and Aika raised a growing family in a far and peaceful village, their first son Shin grew to be a strong man and kind soldier. Shippo and Suzu travelled the globe, having many adventures along the way, they discovered all of Suzu's past and with that done they too settled down and had a litter of their own._

_Kohaku succeeded in his life's mission to make Rin the happiest wife and mother that ever lived, they made Miroku and Sango's army children look miniscule in comparison to theirs. All their days were filled with love and laughter…one name was indeed never forgotten, Sesshomaru. Rin was a good mother…she doted on every one of her ten babies. She was good wife too…every sunset she took long walks with her husband and stood by him when at times money tight, believing he would be true to his word and provide for his family._

_Years and years of happiness past, and when their children had children…they died on the same day, hand in hand…the last words to pass the old woman's lips was a single name "Sesshomaru" she died smiling with a single tear of joy._

_When Sesshomaru learned of their deaths, he came to visit the graves only to see a sight that near stopped his heart. It was Rin…laying flowers down in the place he thought she had been put to rest. She looked no older than the last time he saw her…not a single touch of frost touched her midnight mane, her skin still firm and youthful._

_He approached her in a hurry "Rin?" he breathed clasping at her arm, she was real…it was no illusion. But to his dismay the girl pulled away in fear._

"_Who are you! How do you know my name!" she demanded._

_He stared at the grave where she was meant lie "…I thought you were dead" he uttered._

_The girl looked at the grave then realised what was happening "Oh no!" she shook her head "I was named after her…the owner of this grave….she was my grandmother"._

_She was an exact copy, the very echo of her grandmother's beauty and spirit…he saw all this and a strange desire he had not felt for so long again stirred. "Who are you?" she asked him._

_He turned away and began walking "follow me…if you so choose" he said and to his surprise…she did, eagerly…._

The end

* * *

**Heya…so that's it…it's done, I hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment but even so I had a lot of fun writing it. Please believe me when I say that I really am a sessxrin fan at heart. Any way I would really love to hear your thoughts on it…even if it's bad. **

**Thank you to all the readers and people who have reviewed I couldn't have continued writing it without you!**

**PLEASE REVIEW **** even if it's just to tell me "please never write another fanfic again!"**


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